April Fool!

Well I promised I’d share my April Fools Day story with you and here it is:

Many years ago, I was enamored of a certain young man, quite a few years my junior. DD (darling daughter) and HDF (her dear friend) were not impressed with either him or me and were delighted when he moved to Calgary, hoping that would put an end to this disgusting, licentious relationship, in their view that is.

I was moping around the house like a love-sick fourteen year-old, much to their increasing disdain, so to amuse themselves; they concocted an evil prank to play on me that April 1 so long ago. Sigh.

HDF was staying over with us that weekend and they were both familiar with my Sunday morning routine which generally involved my making coffee and toast and taking it back to bed to read the papers while they giggled and carried on downstairs doing whatever it is teenage girls do.

Of course, I was not looking my best, bed-head, ratty nighty, scruffy slippers and scruffier robe at hand but I was happily ensconced in my boudoir slurping my java and enjoying reading about the latest Hollywood scandals when there was a loud knocking at the front door. I listened to see who it was, probably Jehovah Witnesses I thought. Then Kerry came running up the stairs; “Mum” she cried, “guess who’s here? It’s D! He’s just arrived from Calgary!”

Well, you can imagine my horror, I leapt out of bed and stage whispered to DD to keep him entertained downstairs while I freshened up. She departed and I ran to the bathroom in panic and tried to open the door, I couldn’t at first, the handle seemed all slippery. I managed to gain entrance, grabbed the taps, but couldn’t turn them on either, they were tightened right up and all slippery too!

Eventually after some panicked effort, I managed to wash my face, brush my teeth and hair, slip into jeans and a top, all the time trilling out loudly “I’m coming, I’ll be right down” and after composing myself went downstairs to greet my paramour. Well, you can guess that all that was awaiting me were two little faces staring at me innocently from the couch as I looked around in vain for D. It was about that moment that I realized I had been well and truly had and DD and HDF could contain themselves no longer and exploded in hysterical laughter, chorusing “April Fool!”

I’ll draw a veil over what happened next, suffice to say, like Queen Victoria, I was not amused and drawing what shreds of dignity about me that I could, stomped back up the stairs, the echoes of their laughter sounding in my ears. Of course, I did see the humour of it eventually though it did take them quite a while to remove all the cooking oil they had so liberally applied to all the fittings!

P.S. Names have been changed to protect the guilty!

Heh, heh. It was beautiful. She didn’t mention the simpery voice she used to call down that “She would be riiiiight there’ as she frantically yanked on those handles and taps! We nailed her good! I just know my mom soooo well.

Another time, HDF and I left our clothes laid out on the living room floor like something out of Star Trek…only the powdered orange juice left. Did I mention we were big nerds?