The icequeen cometh

Well, here I am back on line after a slight hiccup due to a variety of things I'll not test your patience with at this time. We are currently "enjoying" a period equal to a mini ice-age in our small corner of this benighted planet. I wish it would go away. But the icy state of our lanes and streets brings to mind an occasion that brought me into rather hard contact with the elements. It went something like this:

A number of years ago and before we had a car, I had stopped at the local shops for groceries on the way home from work. My darling daughter was in the house with her best friend Rebecca. The trails home were just sheet ice so picture me, coated and booted, toque firmly in place, scarf wound around my face with just my glasses and nose showing. I'm teetering along carefully balancing the heavy grocery bags in each hand when "wham", my feet shoot out from under me. Next thing, I'm flat on my back, head hitting the ice, arms flung wide out still clutching the damn groceries. I'm stunned for a few moments, no one in sight of course, and I can't get up, can't get any purchase on the ice. I sort of crawl to the side of the path and haul myself up by the trees and mustering what dignity I can, stagger to my house. I fling open the door, and stand there, hat askew, glasses steaming up and glare at my daughter and Rebecca who are tucked up in front of the telly, sipping hot chocolate or something equally warming. They look at me like I've arrived from outer space and chorus "what's wrong, are you alright"! I drag myself in, throw down the groceries (or 'messages' as we called them in Scotland for some strange reason lost in the mists of time) and practically in tears, tell them my sad story. They try very hard to be sympathetic, making soothing sounds as one went to put the kettle on and the other unwound my scarf and helped me off with my coat. They clucked and tutted and sat me down, gave me my tea and then they burst into hysterical laughter. I was still wittering on about my misadventure and they couldn’t hold it in any longer, little beasts! Years later, Rebecca even sent me a wee drawing she had done of me lying in the snow, a good likeness too! Oh well, I can laugh now, but it WASN'T FUNNY AT THE TIME!

My daughter will relish this story as I am never allowed to forget it. Hope it brightened your day, and yes I know, compared to other parts of the country we get off very lightly!